'THE OLD PLAYHOUSE' POEM BY KAMALA DAS
'The Old Playhouse' Poem
You planned to tame a swallow, to hold her
In the long summer of your love so that she would forget
Not the raw seasons alone, and the homes left behind, but
Also her nature, the urge to fly, and the endless
Pathways of the sky. It was not to gather knowledge
Of yet another man that I came to you but to learn
What I was, and by learning, to learn to grow, but every
Lesson you gave was about yourself. You were pleased
With my body's response, its weather, its usual shallow
Convulsions. You dribbled spittle into my mouth, you poured
Yourself into every nook and cranny, you embalmed
My poor lust with your bitter-sweet juices. You called me wife,
I was taught to break saccharine into your tea and
To offer at the right moment the vitamins. Cowering
Beneath your monstrous ego I ate the magic loaf and
Became a dwarf. I lost my will and reason, to all your
Questions I mumbled incoherent replies. The summer
Begins to pall. I remember the ruder breezes
Of the fall and the smoke from burning leaves. Your room is
Always lit by artificial lights, your windows always
Shut. Even the air-conditioner helps so little,
All pervasive is the male scent of your breath. The cut flowers
In the vases have begun to smell of human sweat. There is
No more singing, no more dance, my mind is an old
Playhouse with all its lights put out. The strong man's technique is
Always the same, he serves his love in lethal doses,
For, love is Narcissus at the water's edge, haunted
By its own lonely face, and yet it must seek at last
An end, a pure, total freedom, it must will the mirrors
To shatter and the kind night to erase the water.
Glossary
Explanatory Notes
Line 1. swallow: symbol of freedom and a carefree life
Lines 1-5. Instead of helping her to fulfil her self through love, he cripples the 'swallow' that was used to breathing the life of freedom: also, note the nature imagery: summer, rain, seasons, etc which reinforce her suffering.
Lines 5-7. She was not looking for physical gratification but the realisation of her 'self through her husband's love leaves her a dejected person as he refuses to let go his egocentric attitude.
Lines 7-11. The husband treats the woman as a mere physical object to satiate his carnal desire. Their relationship is reduced to lust.
Lines 12-15. His monstrous ego totally subjugated and turned her into a dwarf as she fully surrendered to his demands, performing all wifely duty/functions. Falling into the trap of his hypnotic lust, she lost her former stature.
Lines 16-18. Under the stifling and 'mechanical' surroundings of her husband's company she has lost her zest for life and is reduced to a passive, lifeless individual. Again, note the nature imagery-the summer, the (rude) breezes of the fall and burning leaves. This reinforces the suffocation of the woman, aptly symbolised in the 'smoke'.
Lines 19-25. The husband becomes the very source of the pervasive oppression. Even the air stinks of his sweat. He turns her life into a mere playhouse with its lights put out. Note the urban imagery - artificial lights, air-conditioner, cut flowers in the vase which point to the unnatural state of her sapless life.
Line 26. Love becomes sheer lust and acts like a killer. Note the irony; love is supposed to be the spirit of life but is here, the killer
Lines 27-30. Narcissus (according to a Greek legend) was a Greek youth who fell obsessively in love with his own image reflected in a fountain, thinking it to be the nymph of the place. His fruitless attempts to approach this beautiful object drove him to despair and death; Narcissism: sexual gratification found in one's own body
The Greek myth symbolises the fall (destruction) on account of excessive and obsessive self-love. The 'lethal' love between the husband and the woman is sure to lead to a destructive end. The woman, however, would like to strive against this self-destructive aspect of love and treat it as a self-realising agent, winning over the false (mirrored) image of love.
